2015’s Epic Fail Quotes In Lebanese Politics

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(Welcome to the fascinating world of Lebanese politics) – image source

As 2015 draws to an end, it is time to look back on the wisdom and guidance of Lebanese politicians, which is why I made this mini-compilation of 25 “?!?!?!” quotes/headlines that miraculously saw the light in 2015. Enjoy.

1) Civil = مدني + Agitation = حراك. Because Google Translate = National News Agency. (13/9/2015)

Let civil agitation activists abide by the law by way of expressing their opinion in a civilized manner, the Directorate of Guidance in the Internal Security Forces (ISF), declared in today’s directive. (Link)

2) Apparently, Lebanon lives in a fridge (9/9/2015)

آلان عون: البلد يعيش في ثلاجة (Link)

3) That moment when actors became politicians (10/9/2015)

يوسف الخال: الدستور ليس منزلاً فلنعمل على تعديله ضمن آلية تتماشى مع الحراك الجديد (Link)

4) Inception begins (12/6/2015)

جريصاتي يرد: تعطيل التعطيل ليس تعطيلاً (Link)

5) Inception rises (18/8/1015)

جريصاتي: نحن نعطل التعطيل (Link)

6) Inception spreads (19/8/1015)

حكمت ديب: نحن نعطل التعطيل (Link)

7) Deep. Just too deep. Too deep to be true. (22/8/2015)

جريج: هل التشارك يعني التعطيل؟ (Link)

8) It’s in the eyes. You must look them in the eyes. (22/8/2015)

(Link) ميقاتي:لقد شعرت في عيون الشباب بأنهم يقولون لكل الطبقة السياسية “كفى، عندما تتفقون تريدون تقاسم الجبنة وسرقة البلد وعندما تختلفون تريدون تدمير البلد

9) The right to yell: A new human right. (23/8/2015)

Berri Says people have the right to yell (Link)

10) You can’t make this stuff up (12/1/2015)

Aoun Tastes Geagea’s Chocolate Truffles (Link)

11) [Which is why they have a cross as the party’s symbol] (12/12/2015)

اعلن رئيس حزب “القوات اللبنانية” سمير جعجع  أن القوات لم تكن في يوم من الأيام منظمة طائفية (Link)

12) (He’s 34, so the 20 years include the 4 spent as a teenager. Also, the confidence, like the parliament’s term, is expired) (23/6/2015)

Responding to the notion that he simply inherited the presidency from his father, Gemayel, a Metn lawmaker, stressed that he had worked hard to reach the post.

“I consider that I reached this place because of all the work I have done over the past 20 years of my life. I also know the level of democracy which characterized this election,” Gemayel said. “I also won the confidence of the Lebanese in parliamentary elections, even before the Kataeb elections,” he added, referring to the 2009 election to the Parliament. (Link)

13) No comment (27/8/2015)

“I kneel before you to give me your blessing, not to take your place, because no one can take your place “Because you have seen [Aoun], you have believed,” he [Gebran Bassil] told the crowd. “Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”” (Link)

14) So is this (1) racist, (2) sexist, (3) sectarian, (4) racist and sectarian, (5) racist and sexist, (6) sectarian and sexist, (7) sectarian, racist and sexist, or (8) just a Lebanese politician being a Lebanese politician? (7/11/2015)

باسيل: لن نقبل مقايضة اعادة الجنسية اللبنانية للبناني اصيل باعطاء الجنسية لفلسطيني وسوري (Link)

(He’s talking about the children of Lebanese women)

15) Reasons to keep a general in power (13/8/2015)

نهاد المشنوق من السراي: اذا استمرت الحملة على قهوجي فسيتم التمديد له للمرة الثالثة (Link)

16) So basically, occupation armies are like drugs? (2/5/2015)

Geagea called on parents “to keep an eye on their children and prevent them from falling into this terrible trap.” Addressing the youth, he said: “As you have refused subjection to any occupier, refuse subjection to any kind of drugs, be it hashish, pills, cocaine, heroin, needles or digital drugs.” (Link)

17) They wanted a solution to the trash crisis and early elections. They also wanted to be beaten. (17/09/2015)

Lebanon’s interior minister: Protesters want to be beaten (Link)

18) That moment when the Party of God criticizes sectarianism (13/9/2015)

Sectarian specificities, shackle anti-corruption attempts, Hizbullah parliamentarian Ali Fayyad exclaimed at a high school graduation ceremony of party pupils in Tallousa-South Lebanon today. (Link)

19) A minister representing a (theoretically) leftist party that was once supported by the USSR, criticized the “communist experience” (17/09/2015)

ابو فاعور: المنطق الطبقي الذي تحدث به البعض عن التجربة الشيوعية مرفوض، فليقرأوا جيداَ تلك التجربة (Link)

20) Those words are coming from a representative of a party that fought a civil war to implement proportional representation (17/09/2015)

أبو فاعور: طرح النسبية في لبنان يهدف لتغليب فريق على آخر (Link)

21) The anger. It’s real. (But it’s not too real. So don’t go too far) (19/9/2015)

“I can’t blame them at all. I respect their anger, because it is emanating from a reality,” Salam said, referring to the protesters. But he added that they “went too far by asking for the resignation of all members of Parliament and ministers.” (Link)

22) But the rivers of trash, unlike the anger, are fake. So why all the anger? (27/10/2015)

Lebanese Prime Minister Tammam Salam said on Monday that the video showing rain-soaked streets in parts of Lebanon flowing with garbage was fake, the website of private Lebanese TV channel al-Jadeed reported. (Link)

23) Poetry. (12/7/2015)

Khalil: Constitution is no date to be devoured upon hunger! (Link)

24) Did I mention Walid Jumblatt has Twitter?

25) Yes. Walid Jumblatt has Twitter.